The Ardent Hysteria Over Harry

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Before anything else, check out this interesting site (Thanks, Pete!) The Death Clock it says here that it’s: The Internet’s friendly reminder that life is slipping away… fuck, says here I only got 38 years to live? Great… See, I knew I’d die young. So, anyways… I digress….

I find it funny how so much hype is built up over the damned Harry Potter series. Am I the only person who feels like they’re making it seem we owe them the pleasure of buying that over-priced book? It’s ridiculous, I tell you.

Well, I’m an HP fan. I read the the first book and stopped at the fifth. I watched the first movie version and stopped at the second installment because Hollywood did nothing but rape the damned plot and milk it dry at the box office. I could make a more book-faithful plot in my head better than those hideous crap they made me watch. Or not, I’m not sure.

A good two months before it’s release, my good friend Hannah got a manuscript of the alleged 7th HP Book from our Master Writer (who told her he got it from China, just like where everything are made nowadays). Being the curious little dolt that I am, I asked for the ending as soon as she told me she was done reading.

All I remember her telling me was that there were a lot of heavy petting and clumsy sexually-charged situation from the manuscript. Well. Harry finally grows up and makes his parents proud I suppose. I was pretty much aghast that HP series is still considered to be a children’s book when there there were fuck scenes in it. What would Jesus do?

Turns out the thing was a fake. Oh well. So fast-forward 2 days before July 21, another friend was absolutely giddy with excitement over it’s impending release. She told me she can’t wait to get her hands on the final HP book but dreads to wait in line for it.

I gave her a dead-pan answer and said “Why buy the book on the exact date of it’s release when you can let the hype die down for a day or two? That way you won’t have to wait for your turn to get one, right?” I should’ve said something more outrageous like, me eating a live human baby with a liger strapped at my back and bungee-jumped from a nearby cliff for lunch because that would probably justify the surprised “poor-retard-can’t-understand-shit” look on her face.

Moving on, after it was released I did what most lazy, stingy people would do… went straight at and read the damned HP7 plot. It’s terrible, right? But not as terrible as one of my favorite character, Fred Weasly dying in the arms of his brother Percy. Or Tonks and Remus Lupin dying in battle against Voldemort. 54 character apparently died on HP7. Nasty, right? Incase you’re wondering, no… I’m not the kind of girl who gets offended by spoilers anyways, I would still read the last book even though I know ever nasty bits of plot twists in there.

Ironically, less than two days after it’s release, I passed by National Bookstore and saw quite a lot of those HP7 books lying around. No lines, no screaming mob, no nothing. They were just there… looking lonesome, abandoned, probably wondering where the fuck all the deranged HP fans were and why have J.K. Rowling forsaken them. It seems to me, the magic hath fadeth.

I’ll be waiting for the soft-bound version, thankyouverymuch,

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Tina Lee

Tina Lee-Almazar is a writer with an insatiable appetite for all things bright, shiny, and beautiful. She's a beauty junkie, a shopping connoisseur, a book collector, a purse addict, and a budding mom-tepreneur. Tina has a long-standing (and well-documented!) but one-sided love affair with cats. Special talents include: the ability to eat again an hour after eating, shopping at 3 different malls in 1 day, and taking a 3-hour power nap every day including weekends.

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