I may have finally figured out what’s causing this terrible mood. It’s fucking burn out with a dash of restlessness (incidentally, Blackhole Sun is playing in the background as I’m writing this. Natawa ako bigla). Took me this long to figure out what’s going on because I seriously do not see a reason why I’m burned out.
Surprisingly, it’s not my job that’s causing the burn, which is a first. I’m not entirely sure why I suddenly had this urgent feeling to move, really. It confuses me.I guess in some ways, the past is once again, catching up with me. Hay.
No, I’ve not going emo, despite the fact that being morose these days is so mainstream. It’s just the feeling that I should be somewhere else and not here is getting stronger. The last time I felt this, I disappeared for well over a year. My usual solution, which is to quit my job, go country for 8 months or so, is not an option at this time. Unfortunately, I’m at war with someone up north so I can’t come home and stay for a bit.
This means, a vacation is in order. A long one. Hmmm. We’ll see. Must start tying some loose ends first.