This was the email that greeted me last night:
You’ve all tried very hard to meet quota with the prescribed quality and for that we’re all very grateful. It is to my dismay, apparent that the quotas we’ve set are too stringent. This causes cost ineffectiveness for this advanced style of writing we require. This is not your fault so don’t feel down about anything. We wanted this to work because of the cost effectiveness and the fact that you are a genuinely cool group of people to work with.
Effective immediately I have to let everyone go.
You’re all skilled writers and I have no doubts that you will find great new jobs and if you need any recommendations don’t hesitate to contact me. You will of course be paid for your time worked and I wish you all the best. If you have any questions feel free to contact me.
I have said time and time again that I hated the idea of going back peddling porn but my present situation left me with no choice. This bombshell came at the worst possible time since I just lost my freelance gig with another client the morning before.
I wasn’t expecting my client to treat me like family but I sure as hell didn’t expect him to treat his team like we’re a bunch of objects that he can throw away when he feels that we’ve already served our purpose. A few day’s notice would’ve been nice.
I have exhausted every possible means to clinch this gig, I really did. I moved heaven and Earth trying not fall behind other writers in our team even at the face of zero internet connection, lack of sleep and went as far as getting my DSL reconnected at the speed of light. The stress that this gig caused me was immense and seeing now that it amounted to nothing really made me feel like an even bigger loser.
I guess this is what I get for choosing this job over much more promising opportunities. I wish I took my sister’s advice and just patiently waited it out a bit more. I couldn’t. Now this.
In all honesty, I’m oddly unsettled how calm I am at dealing with this monumental glitch. Usually I’d flipped out but except for a couple of momentary panic-driven applications I did right after the breaking news, I’m taking it in stride. I’m thinking that maybe even at this point, the news still hasn’t sank in. Or maybe I just got numb from all barrage of bad news that hounded me in the past months that I somehow developed a certain kind of indefference over the sorrounding bullshit.
The initial feeling of relief I felt when I learned of the news didn’t escape my notice either. It was odd feeling relieved when I know for a fact that I needed this. I must’ve hated the project so much that for a minute there, I considered this sordid ordeal as a good thing. I think this is a sign that I really should avoid porn like a plague.